I never remember the name of the plant that threatens to swallow my greenhouse. I know it’s like a cactus but that’s about it. It came as a seed, an impulse purchase from a long-ago catalogue that showed its magnificent flower. I recall that there were two plants at one point but don’t recall what happened to the other.

    The uniqueness of the flower is enough to do a little detective work and find a match. Indeed, it is an epiphyllum, sometimes called orchid cactus, sometimes called epiphillium, often referred to as an epi. It’s a cousin of Christmas cactus and is in the cactus family. You’ll remind yourself of the like a cactus whenever you try to do some close-in work around it. The thorns aren’t obvious, but….
    For many years, the epi did quite well in a hanging basket. It likes conditions like a cactus meaning quite chilly winters. My greenhouse has never been a paragon of temperature moderation, so survivors in any given spring are cacti or plants like a cactus. Those conditions do help cacti and their cousins set flowers, so I get some reward for the trouble.
    The epi kept growing and spent a few years in the magazine offices, which were never real warm, hanging from a steam pipe. When it bloomed, it received due praise from staff. By that time, it was so big that the hanging basket was permanently at a 45-degree angle from the angled weight of the branches. At some point, it was wrestled home and transplanted to a 12-inch pot and a wire tomato cage was shoved down over it to provide support. It has now outgrown the cage, but I can’t figure how to extract it from the wire or what to do with it if I did. It is too big to fit on one of the benches, so it rests on a wire shelf that stretches between the benches at the back of the house.
    And now it is spring, when every inch of the small greenhouse is needed for some horticultural treasure (or more accurately, survivor) awaiting planting somewhere, so what does the epi decide to do? Why, fall over of course. Luckily it went sideways, toppling some variegated jades and the like but otherwise not causing any mortal harm. After righting, it put forth a second round of blooms, few but as impressive as ever.
    It just seems like it needs a name. Mighty Epi. Something using an elephant mnemonic. Anything to help me remember epiphyllum. Or forget the name and just remember to water it every now and then.

— Bill Aldrich